21 Life Lessons learned as a Coach's kid

There is nothing like being under the lights on a Friday night, and many of my memories growing up are tied to the gridiron, the man who put on red and blue every fall for more than 20 years, and the woman who stood faithfully behind him.  But what I remember more than the nights under the lights were the lessons I learned from my dad the coach.  Nearly 32 years after I went to my first football game and nearly 10 years since my dad's retirement from coaching, I still and always will be Coach's daughter.  I cant tell you how many times that I have been asked aren't you Coach Searcy's daughter?  Its by far one of my favorite titles, because i am so proud of the man my dad is and the legacy he left on that field, as well as in the hearts and lives of hundreds of athletes.





1. Its not just a game-  High School football is not just a game.  It's an opportunity to build character, to instill in men the qualities and skills they will need to succeed in life.  Its about molding and shaping lives, making boys into men, and kicking attitudes to the curb.  There were many nights after losses my dad would come home upset, but the times I saw him the most upset was not when his players didn't play well, but when they didn't represent the jersey they had on their backs, the brothers on their team, or the values that had been instilled in them.  Weak work ethic, bad attitudes, and bad language were not going to be tolerated.  Not only was it not tolerated on the field but it wasn't tolerated at home.  You did not want Dad penalizing you for unsportsmanlike conduct.


2. Family is not just blood-  I can not even begin to count the members of my family.  I have more brothers than I could count in a lifetime.  My family extends not only to the players my dad coached throughout the years, but some very special football moms who adopted me during the season.  Football was a family affair.  Dad was on the sidelines, Mom was in the press-box, and my little brother was running balls and water, but I never was in the stands alone.  On more than a couple of occasions players were invited to dinner at my house, and trips were made to college games in support of these guys. I have brothers of all ages, races, sizes, and from so many different walks of life.  They are family, because of the time that my dad, and even my mom poured into them during their 4 years in high school, and beyond.

3. The season doesn't start August 1 and end Mid November -  I was very fortunate that my Dad saw family as a crucial part of his life, and he even gave up opportunities to further his career because his family was so important.  I saw my dad answer people many times when they asked why he didn't take a head coach's position, that even though he had more time on the sidelines than some of the other coaches, his family needed his time as well and he knew the added commitment he would have to make.  I watched my dad be content where he was coaching the O-Line, and enjoying every minute of it.  This didn't mean that there weren't long nights locking up after games, driving the bus home, watching film, painting the field, mowing grass, summer workouts, and so much more, but we as a family knew the sacrifices he had made and knew that these things came with the job.

4. Commitment means win or lose-  You have never been initiated in to the family of a coach until you go through a very bad losing season.  In my experience this didn't happen until I was in middle school and we had 2 seasons back to back where we didn't win one single game.  Most people jumped off the bandwagon, players quit mid -season, attendance at games dropped everyone found someone to blame, but if you are committed to your team, and committed to the coach you love, Commitment means standing tall and wearing your colors no matter what the scoreboard says at the end of the night, no matter what the stats say in the newspaper the next morning or what the season record says at the end of the year.  You support and love your team no matter what win or lose.

5. Weather wont stop you- I can not even begin to count the number of games I sat in pouring rain, freezing cold, or blistering sun.  You learn to adapt. You carry an umbrella just so it wont rain, you stop and buy rain gear on the way to a game, you learn to wear layers and carry extra blankets, because bad weather shouldn't sway your commitment.  Let me tell you cold metal bleachers are never fun in November and they are beyond uncomfortable for your backside, but when you see the discouragement on the face of a  player who turns around and start hyping up the crowd, only to realize everyone left at halftime because of the weather, it makes you realize that weather should not sway your commitment.  Circumstances should not stop  you from moving forward and supporting the people you love.

6. You will have terrifying moments- Luckily we only had a couple of bad injuries while I was growing up but one sticks out to me more than any other.  It was the 4th quarter and one of our seniors tucked his head on a hit, if you know anything about football  one of the number one rules of blocking is you don't go into a block leading with your helmet You always keep your head up, your eyes on your defender.  (Side Lesson in life, when you don't "block" your problems with your head up you're gonna get knocked on your tail and probably get seriously injured).  This guy knew better than to lower his head, it was a freak accident, but he went down, no one really thought much about it, it was the end of a drive and he came off the field.  It wasn't until much later that night that we heard how serious the injury could be.  Visiting this player in the hospital the next day, and hearing "the worst case scenario" was a terrifying moment. In the end the injury ended up not being as bad as originally indicated.  I learned to take bad news with a grain of salt, as well as you have to learn how to handle those moments when you are scared and you cant let someone else see it .

7. Don't marry a coach in season... Okay maybe you should- Okay this is a good one ... Ladies- if you love jewelry, then go right ahead and marry a football coach during the fall, just make sure he's a keeper like my dad, because let me tell you the secret.  Once every 5-7 years your anniversary will fall on a Friday night ;) Just ask my mom Sapphire Rings always made up for spending her anniversary in the stadium or press box, but if you ask me, she loved him so much it never really mattered.

8.  You have to learn to have tough skin- Being a coaches daughter I heard all kinds of things, mostly how things were never being done the right way.  My heart was broken a couple of times hearing the things that would be screamed at the coaches, and yet many of these people, really and truly had no idea what they were talking about.  You have to learn to push off what people say about you and about the people you love.  You have to focus on what you know to be true, and when a parent is screaming about not putting their son in on 4th and Goal with 5 seconds left in the game, when you're down by 3.  You have to know their child may not be the best option, and trust the decisions that are being made.  My dad taught me through these moments too that you have to trust the decisions you make reguardless of what other people think, and that there are very few of those people that if you explained your decision to it would change their mind.

9. Some people will never understand the rules of the game- I have very dear friends who were cheerleaders, and I am not picking on cheerleaders, but there was always a couple who never knew if we were defense or offense.   It really made it obvious when the captain was not paying attention or didnt know how to tell who had possession.. I found that when you follow those who don't know the rules of the game you will get lost, and you will look like a fool for doing it.  If they dont know the rules you may not be able to teach them.  With these people, sometimes you just have to let them play it their way.

 11.  Family is crucial but sometimes Football comes first.- There were a lot of things I thought I missed out on as a kid, when everyone would go out to dinner after the game, we stood around and waited on Mom to call in stats, uniforms to be washed, equipment to be put away.  Every year Coaching clinic became a family vacation, and I have to say my dad was pretty amazing to take us along because getting older and finding out that most coaches saw clinic as a way to "escape" life for a day or two, I realize how blessed we were that our dad wanted to spend that time with us as well.
Kids don't stop growing just because the field has to be lined off or equipment has to be put away.... Solution, take them with you and get them to help you pull chalk lines.  As important as I knew football was to my dad and my family I never once felt like my dad didn't have time for me .



12. Suck it up ... Walk it off... Get over it... If you have ever been loved by a coach, you have heard these words more than once.  If it isn't broke, dry your eyes, get up off your butt walk it off and ice it and elevate it, you'll be fine in the morning.  Pain is gain.  Even though I have scars and a hairline fracture that grew back crooked from this mentality, HA-HA, I have to admit I am a much stronger woman because of it.  My dad never let us sit and feel sorry for ourselves, You get up, you brush off the dirt and you move on.  In life if you let pain hold you back or if you nurse a minor injury you will never recover or get back in the game.

13. Know when to call an audible- In life you have got to know when to change gears after seeing all the possibilities on the field.  Its never too late to change directions.  If something is not working Don't keep doing it.  You have to look to your spotter in the press-box because there are somethings that just cant be seen from the sidelines.

18. If "Coach" is hard on you, it means he sees potential- I have learned that when people are hard on you its because they see something in you that they don't see in others.  They see potential.  They want you to work a little harder because they know you have value, they know that you have untapped potential that if they sit back and let you go on your own that you would never become all that you could be.  As I watched my dad coach his linemen, I watched him get up in the face-mask's of guys that I knew he believed in, from a distance it just looked like he was staying all over their behinds, and that they didnt seem to be able to do anything right, but these were the same guys that when they made that killer block on Friday night my dad was the first to grab them and tell them everything they did right. Discipline builds character and hard work will always pay off.

20. Support someone in what they love-  My mom has a love of football, but like any woman I am sure there were other things that she could have found to occupy her time over every fall Friday night for 20 years, but I dont remember my mom ever missing a game, and as I got older I saw what she did to support my dad and his team.  Mom would come home from teaching all day, and would put on her red and blue, she would put 3-4 dozen chocolate chip cookies in the oven, she would load up all the stuff she needed to keep stats, she would make sure my dad had everything he needed, and there were times when especially on away games, and days the weather was unplanned she would have even more things to load up.  Her Friday nights didn't end until the newspaper and tv stations had everything they needed.  My mom could have cheered from the stands, but she chose to be apart of my dad's passion, to support him and be with him every Friday night... That's Real Love.

21. The field is not the place to fight- You don't fight in public, you take it inside the field-house where no one can see and if you need to fight it out you fight it out there.  Fighting is healthy most of the time in the right context, but it never needs to be done in front of other people.  Fighting in public whether physically or verbally will show you a divided team.  Issues can be resolved but if you fight in front of people they will see  your weakness realize you are not united and take advantage of that weakness.

There are so many other life lessons, so many memories, so much pride that come to mind when i step foot inside of the Stadium, my life would not have been the same without so many Friday nights there, but my Dad is more than a football coach, ask any of his players.  He was a man of God first and foremost, he never forced his faith on anyone but by his actions and his life his players knew where he stood. I am so proud of my Dad for taking every opportunity to impact the lives of young men who played for him just as much as he impacted mine and my brother's lives on and off the field.

An Open Letter to Godly Men

As a woman who strives daily to be more like Christ, I wanted to take just a minute to encourage your hearts, and to openly say thank you for the impact you have had on my life, and I am sure if they could pipe in, I would get a big AMEN, from so many other Godly women "in the choir."  For so many of us we deal with the insecurity that we will never be enough, too often that insecurity causes us to not want to wait on the Lord and to lower the standards we look for in men.  But then there are men who cross our paths who make us reevaluate the qualities we are looking for in someone who could potentially be apart of our lives. Many times, because of  our past, or the way we see ourselves, we don't truly feel like we deserve a Godly man, and lets just be honest here, most women are impatient, and will settle for something less than what God has for us out of fear, that the idea that what we desire just isn't out there.

As I write this letter there are ten or so Godly men who have crossed my path over the years, who were single at the time, who impacted my life in a great way, to truly begin to show my heart what the idea of a godly relationship was supposed to look like.  I had the privilege of watching several of these men find the women God had for them and to watch the way they loved their future wives.  No these men were not perfect and I don't intend to put them on a pedestal.  The only perfect man was Jesus Christ.  My only point here is that when you are living your daily life you have no idea who is watching and what impact you are making in the lives of those around you.

When I stop and think about how my heart has been encouraged over the years by Godly single men, There are a few specific qualities that come to mind. I will tell you that as Christian women, seeing Jesus in a man is the most attractive quality, and I am not sure why as people we settle for what we know is far less than God's best.  Over the years my heart has been protected, guided, encouraged, and prayed for by brothers in Christ around me.  I write this to encourage you to look around I can promise you that if you are striving to live for the Lord there are girls watching.  They may not be the one that God has for you but I encourage you to be aware so you can protect her heart as her brother in Christ.

If I could say thank you to these men for the example they were, and the qualities that through their new life in Christ set them apart, I would thank them for:

Running in their Relationship with the Lord:  There is nothing more attractive than a man who is strong in his relationship in the Lord.  As women we are built to be led by a man, and I know I will ruffle some feathers when I say this, but as Godly women we were created to be submissive.  I dont mean to be demeaned, but to walk beside her husband and support him in all that he does and to allow him to lead her and their family.  A man who knows scripture, who can pray with confidence, who has a heart for the lost, and who just has a genuine love and concern for people will catch a Godly girl's eye.

Asking Questions:  There was a guy that I went to college with who was phenomenal at this.  He always made people around him really feel as if they, and their lives, were important.  One particular night that I remember, we were sitting at dinner and it was me and two other girls and Him, and he sat and asked each one of us about what was going on in our lives, how or ministries were going, what the Lord was teaching us, and how he could pray for us.  Having true interest in the lives of other people without any other intention is something that should not be taken advantage of in a friend. I walked away from that conversation feeling encouraged, loved as a sister in Christ, and like what I was doing and the life I was living really was making a difference.

Physical Protection:  I had a group of friends in college that had a knack for doing stupid things,and I remember on more than one occasion when several guys I knew went out of their way to make sure that the girls that were with them were safe.  One night in particular we were out checking out this old abandoned tunnel.  The whole point of going was  for the experience of walking through in the pitch black and for the thrill,but what i didn't realize at the time was that a couple of the guys had gone ahead and checked out the tunnel before the rest of us got there, to make sure that there was nothing that would harm us.  The guys were not about to put us in a situation where we could get hurt physically or hurt by someone.

Protection of My Heart: In college one of my best friends and I spent a lot of time together, I ended up developing feelings for him, mostly because I saw so many Christlike traits in him, but he was sensitive to the situation and realized how I was starting to feel.  Instead of walking out of my life, calling me out and making me feel bad for how I was feeling, or taking advantage of my feelings, he did quite the opposite.  He and another friend and I went out for a movie, on the way home he asked if I wanted to run an errand with him on campus.  He never made it awkward but on the way home before we pulled out of the parking lot, He turned to me and with the most care and respect, he told me how he felt.  That it had nothing to do with me, that he loved my heart, but that he just didn't feel like I was the right girl for him to date and that it wouldn't be fair to me knowing how I felt.  Of course at the moment, the conversation stung, but to this day we are still friends, and I have so much respect for him for the way he handled the situation, and how he made me feel protected from the potential of a broken heart.

Protection of my Reputation:   A few weeks before my husband and I separated, it was obvious that we were having issues, I went into church and sat with a group of close friends that I didn't typically sit with on Sunday mornings, I slipped in during fellowship time and sat next to one of my best friends, one of my guy friends bible was on the other side of me but there was plenty of room to sit there.  I noticed later that he got up and moved to the pew behind us.  Later that night while our group of friends went out to dinner, he made it a point to make sure I knew why he moved.  He told me he did not want anyone to assume that he and I were in a relationship behind my husband's back.  The thought had never crossed my mind that people might perceive things that way, but i felt like he had taken an opportunity to intentionally protect my reputation.

Setting an example of Godly Leadership: In college two guys who were Seniors when I was a sophomore, led a group of 5 or 6 of us who were ministering within our fraternity or sorority. We met once a week to pray for the Greeks on campus.  The way that these men showed the brokenness of their hearts for the lives of their fraternity brothers who did not know the Lord,  as well as the way they led in prayer, and led the meetings to avoid gossip and distraction, encouraged me to learn even more to how to pray for and show the Love of Christ to the women of my sorority who were searching for significance in things other than in the Lord.

Encouragement: Recently there was a guy, who I knew years ago as a mutual friend of some of my sorority sisters, who had posted quite a few verses of scripture, quotes about relationships and godly life to Facebook.  It seemed like at the moment that when each of these popped up it was connected to something that the Lord had already been teaching me.  The Lord was using these posts to reinforce what he had already been showing me. This guy also made a statement to me that he was spending time in the word and trying daily to become a more Godly man, this made made me realize the difference between someone who is perusing a real relationship with Christ and the continual life transformation that occurs when you are consistently growing in the Lord, and  being a "Christian" guy and going to church occasionally, when there is very little impact on your life.   This guy had absolutely no idea that in posting these things that I was even seeing them or the effect that it was having on my heart.

Setting an example of what a Godly Relationship looks like: I have been blessed to watch several of these men find the women that God has created for them, and be able to watch the Love story that God has written for them develop.  Its been kinda neat to grab a bucket of popcorn and watch their relationships unfold.  Whats even more fun is that several of them ended up marrying girls that were dear friends of mine, and I have been able to hear how these men have led in their spiritual lives, sheltered their marriages, and been Godly fathers to their children.

I will admit as these situations unfolded I did "crush" on a couple of these guys, but the real lasting effect was that each one of them raised the bar a little higher for what desires I have in the man I pray God is forming for me.  To be completely honest, its difficult for me to write this blog post because I am by far not an expert on good relationships, if I am anything I am an expert on bad relationships and not believing that I deserve what God could bless me with and because of that not waiting on God's best.  Especially now sitting here after being separated from my husband for 7 months with no signs of reconciliation, I feel odd saying the bar has been raised again.  I pray daily that one day God will bless me with a man with all these qualities to grow old with me.  And the fact that the Lord with his transforming power could do this in the life of my ex, or that he could one day bring a man into my life who could accept me for who I am in the Lord is even more proving about how powerful and in control he is. So many women would say that what I just wrote about would be describing the perfect man, and that he doesn't exist.  I would agree with them, the perfect man does not exist, but men who are striving daily to be like Christ do.

I will admit that I have not ever dated any of these men, and although they raised the bar, I have always let myself fall back in to the arms of men who are not perusing the Lord because it seemed like the easier thing to do.  I  was blinded by the idea of love and not engaged with the idea that the best relationship would be with the one that the Lord has created for me, and it would be worth any amount of time to have to wait.

Men - I would encourage you to keep focused on the Lord and to keep your eyes open to the women around you, protect them, honor them, and love them, because if they are not your future wives, they are some one's future wives, and  you need to realize that in the way you live your life and the way you treat her, without saying a word you can point her to the Lord, and to raising the standard of not letting ungodly men steal her heart.

If you are waiting on the one God has for you, I would encourage your heart, she is out there.  She may not even know you yet, but God is sovereign and He has a plan, if you are single or single again, or stuck somewhere in between the Lord is in control.  Hand him your life fully, and he will bless you far greater than you can ever imagine.  And when The Lord hands you the one he has created for you, love the Lord more than you love her, cherish her, study her, and continue to date her.  If you love her the way that Christ loves the Church, she will respect and honor you.

I truly believe that most people do not end up with the ones that the Lord had for them, I believe that we settle for something "good enough".  This is the reason for so much emotional and physical infidelity, because we are not truly complete in the Lord, and so consumed with our relationship with him that we look up only long enough when God says "That's Her or Him."  I have seen relationships that it was obvious they had found the one that the Lord had for them in his timing.  Its undeniable.  It doesn't mean its easy, but if you stand back and watch, they attempt point each other to Christ daily, they have genuine concern for each other, and their love for the Lord and each other grows out of the trials that cross their paths

Live your lives for the Lord, you don't know who's watching and how it may be impacting their life.

                                                                                            Love in Christ

You might have been a Phi Mu in the Whee if .... (2002-2006)

1. You have ever had a hand in painting one of these,,, singing songs.... hanging it on the bridge ... and then ya know ;)

2. Have ever been shoved in like sardines in a dorm room in Scott hall
 
3. If you've Ever made a midnight run to walmart during your pledge retreat.

4.If you have ever dressed like a Pink Lady or a T-Bird.

5. If you have ever worn Phi Mu letters... Okay Maybe Not...
 

6 If you have ever been to a Carnation "Bowl"
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7. Youve Spent any time on Scott Hall 6th East .
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8. You have ever had to scramble to find 2 dates for King Krush .


9. Or a date in 30 min for Roots  N Boots.























         10 Gone Bowling and had Smores with your Dad.        

11. Sang Songs and Chants before Rush.


12. Ever played Pass the Cow... (sorry there is no picture for pass the cow ... but if we were playing pass the cow no one would have been thinking about taking pictures LOL)

13. If you have ever had a Big, a Lil, a GBig, a GGBig, a Twin, a ABS, a neicey neice, a <3BS, a YBS, an Inspiration Sis, or a Fam






































15. If you ever have been horseback riding on Sister Retreat

16. If you have ever had an awesome costume :) 

17. If you have ever had to find comedic relief during Recruitment Practice ( Fun times and Lindsey's Minnie Mouse Voice.)

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18. If you have ever Painted a Sig. ( Kelly - are having way too much fun with that :) )

19.  If you have ever sung a rousing rendition of It's Raining Men for Greek Week

20. If you have ever had your pledge class Picture taken in front of this sign

21. IF you have ever been in a fight with Scooby Doo.

22. If you don't know the real words to Ice Ice Baby, Friends are Friends Forever, Youre the One that I want,or  Brown Eyed Girl, but you know all the moves to this routine.

23.  Or If Pictures Like these Make you HOME Sick 

YOU MIGHT JUST BE A PHI MU :) 

Tackle it Tuesday: Routines

In the month of January, I decided to take back my life.  I have realized that if you want to have joy, you must be intentional.  The enemy is out to kill, steal, and destroy, and if you do not have a battle plan he will prevail.   I've had a lot of life changes in the last year and the one that has had the biggest impact was my job change.  If there has been one thing that I have realized over the past year it is that you have to be intentional to keep the joy in your life, and that begins with how you spend your time. When I took my job as a nanny, I thought I'll have all the time in the world, finding time to study scripture, time for prayer, and time for myself won't be an issue, but boy was I wrong.

I found that without the structure of the "work day" I spent my time just going with the flow, which was good for a while, while my heart healed from all the changes and hurts that had been in my life, but as the holidays approached I found myself frustrated all too often for feeling like I never accomplished anything.  I found myself beginning to question the value of my job, and then my value.  I think if we all slow down and really are honest with ourselves, there is a link of some sort between how we perceive our productivity and how we perceive our worth.  I found myself doing less and less because I became discouraged and began to think what's the point.  When the whirlwind of the holidays were over I found myself questioning if I even knew what day it was.  I was just existing, I wasn't thriving.

When I realized the lies Satan was feeding me, I made a decision to take back my life. There were several things that I decided to do through this decision, but the implementation of routines was the biggest one.  This was something that had been apart of my life when I was working a "cooperate job," that I had given up when I became a nanny. I had given up my schedule, structure, and routines, and my I had started living my life with a fly by the seat of my pants mentality. What i didn't realize when I became a nanny was how unpredictable life with toddlers can be.  The first few weeks everything ran right on schedule... I had to be up at 6 when the Kids mom left for work, they didn't get up till nearly 8:30 and I had plenty of time to get up spend time in the word, get dressed do my hair and makeup, and actually be ready to conquer the day, but as time went on and things got more comfortable Things got crazy and I looked down after the holidays and found myself with my hair pulled up on top of my head in the leggings and t-shirt I had slept in the night before praying the kids would go to sleep so i could grab a 3 min shower, and guess what... they didn't.  I was in a funk the rest of the afternoon and when i finally got done with work and was able to get a shower, dressed, and ready to go out to dinner with a friend, i realized how much more energy and what a better outlook I had on life just from one simple action.

So people think I am crazy to schedule my day down to the minute, but its how I make sure to keep control of my joy and make sure that I am productive.

To develop my morning routine I actually started with my evening and night routine first.  What i do at night depends on how my mornings go.  After watching several you tube videos, I have finally gotten it just about right.

Here is a look at a typical day. ( disclaimer... not everyday is like this, there are some days I enjoy my yoga pants and my extra hour of sleep, but this is what I strive for.)

Here is my Evening Routine that I do every night after work:

Gym
Shower
Dinner
Load Dinner Dishes in the Dishwasher
Start Dishwasher if needed
Wipe down all surfaces in the kitchen (this literally takes 2 min)
Quick Swiffer of the kitchen floor ( yet again less than 2 min)
15 minute pickup of the entire house
Put away a load of laundry
Think about Dinner for Tomorrow
Pick out Clothes for Tomorrow

Then I have time  In between getting all this done and getting ready for bed for whatever things I want to do before getting ready for bed.  Usually it Netflix or catching up on TV

Here is my before Bed Routine

Ready for bed ( Take off Makeup, Moisturize, PJs, Brush Teeth ect.)
Wipe Down Bathroom ( same as the kitchen just a min or two)
Swiffer Bathroom floor
Devotional/ Bible Reading
Read/TV
Bed

Now you can imagine that If i do both of these lists I wake up rested and refreshed to a clean apartment and everything is ready to go)

Now for my Morning Routine:
I listen to Dr. Stanley's Intouch Devotion before i even get out of bed. www.intouch.org
Make Bed
Turn on Pandora to something that will help me get moving ... Most mornings its AC/DC and Def Leopard (lol) but some mornings its something else depending on what kind of mood I'm in. :)
Vitamins/Breakfast/Stretching
Unload the Dishwasher
Prayer
Wash Face/Brush Teeth/ Hair / Makeup/ Get Dressed
Scripture Study ( Ill post a blog post on how I study the bible later)
Wipe Down the bathroom, and swiffer the floor if it needs it.


Keeping up with this routine helps me only have to do light cleaning once a week, and keeps me productive and ready for the day. Tackle today ... Take back  your life.  Set up your routines to get you started.

From the Heart: An Open Letter To The Woman Who Will Marry My Little Brother.

To the woman that will marry my brother:


I will admit it now since I don't often admit it.  I love my brother with all my heart.  ( Yes you read that right :) ...  The day he showed up, my life changed forever, then I thought for the bad, but now I realize for the good.  Being several years apart, we never were the closest growing up.  I was always the older bossy one, and he either followed along or tattle-taled on me for being bossy.  But watching him grow up into the man he has become I have learned some things about my brother.  Some things that will impact your life. Some things that I am so sure you already know, but I just wanted to say. Watching your love story develop has been something I have enjoyed far beyond what you will ever know.  It is so obvious that you were created just for him.  I thank God daily for his plan in creating you to fulfill the role of my brother's wife.  I just wanted you to know how much I love you, and how excited we are to welcome you into the family.  Whether  he knows it or not... I'm one of his biggest fans. :)

I truly believe that just as Eve was created from the rib of Adam that the Lord hand picks mates for his children.  Sometimes out of our own blindsightedness and impatience we end up with someone else, but when you see two people who fit together so perfectly, who love the Lord, and who support and lift up each others weaknesses, you know that God had a purpose in creating those two for each other.

My brother is determined.  When the deck has been stacked against him he has flourished.  Hes never been exceptionally or naturally good at some things.  Some things did not come easy for him as a child but his strong work ethic was born out of adversity.  He had to work ten times harder to be as good as some around him.  His attitude when things get difficult is to work even harder.  He always puts forth his best effort and even a little more.  He has never been lazy and i know that he will provide for you to the best of his ability.  My brother will do anything he can to help someone he knows needs it.  Often to the point of overexerting himself but yet he doesn't complain.

My  brother is loyal.  He will care for you.  The things that over the years where I have seen his heart and the way he loves people amazes me.  He was always a very loving and caring child with a big heart.  His heart was and still is tender, and those who mean something to him know it.  Don't get me wrong, he is a man's man, and doesn't often show his feelings, but when he loves someone he is not afraid to say it.

My brother is protective.  He will protect you to the ends of the earth.  There were times where I never really thought he liked me, but I knew he always had my back.  He will stand beside you through thick and thin, and will love you with the forever kind of love.  I can see it in his eyes when he looks at you, that forever kind of love is already there and it will only grow as he watches you become even more the woman that God has planned for you to be and as you grow old together.

You, sweet friend, are a beautiful girl both inside an out, and as I sit here and think about the two of you I could not have handpicked a girl more perfect for my bother,  Your love for the Lord and those around you, your patient and quiet spirit, your sweet smile, the way you fit right into our crazy family, your beautiful heart, and loving and compassionate ways.  Your ever willingness to help, and your smile that lights up a room.  You are going to make an amazing wife for my brother and a wonderful mom one day.

Things between him and I have not ever been perfect, they have always been more distant than I think both of us would like and they have never been consistent, but I know without a shadow of a doubt that if I needed him, he would be there in a heartbeat, and I know those same qualities extend to you in a far greater way.  My brother will treat you like the woman that you are,  He will always want you to stand by his side, not behind him in a demeaning way and not in front of him in a way that shows he doesn't seem to care and is expecting you to lead, but beside him where your ribs are connected by the Lord, you are under his arm for protection, and next to his heart that loves you.

I have watched him beam with pride as you have excelled in your career, being proud of the woman you have become, and the hard work you have put forth to achieve your goals.  He will always stand behind you and push you to do greater things.  He will be your biggest fan and he will do anything he can to help you achieve whatever you set your mind to.

You are family.  You always will be, not an in-law, but a daughter, a sister, a granddaughter, a cousin.  And it is our job as your family to stand behind you two as a couple, and support your marriage in love and prayer.  Our family may not always act like others, but it is a family of love an support and no matter what challenges you face together, you will have a support system who love you both.

You were made for him.  Enjoy this time as you prepare for your wedding.  Take a breath and take time for each other.  You guys will face trials and hardships, but with the foundation that you have built and trust in the Lord its nothing that you as a team will not be able to over come.  Put the Lord first and each other second and nothing will be able to tear you apart, and no matter what, always kiss goodnight.

Here's to the journey ahead of you with your best friend.

                                                                                                          All My love and Support,
                                                                                                                     His Big Sister.

Nothing More Southern Than Moonshine and Fast Cars.... Just Ask the Duke's

                                                                                                                                  Image: www.autofoundry.com

 So i consider myself a southern girl, but I don't drink sweet tea, so if you would like to base my authority on all things Southern on that fact go right ahead, and you can stop reading right here.  However, I would suggest you find those manners your Mamma gave ya, and finish reading and you just might learn something.  If you're any bit southern at all you know a little something about Bo, Luke, and Daisy, and if there is anything they knew it was, that there wasn't a problem that couldn't be fixed by running from the law. (OK disclaimer here.  Don't be stupid... The stories I could tell you about people doing stupid things and then running ... Just trust me Don't run from the law... but that's a post for another day).  Running from the Law is exactly how one of America's most popular sport got it's start.

The earliest roots of American Stock Car Racing can be traced back to the days of Prohibition in the south.  Prohibition was the nationwide ban on all things Alcohol.  It was illegal to produce, sell, or transport alcohol within the United States.  This thirteen year ban from 1920-1933 caused an influx in homemade back woods moonshine.  At first it seemed like these laws were effective, the public consumption rates had dropped, and drunken disorderly conduct had lessened.  However, making Alcohol at home became a common practice as demand became greater during prohibition. In the  south this liquor was known as 'Shine.  Because Alcohol could not be produced legally, the illegal production of Moonshine became a lucrative business.

                    image: www.autofoundry.com/

The sell of Moonshine was not only illegal because of its prohibited production, but even after the end of prohibition moonshine was still considered illegal, as it was avoiding  taxation.  Shine could be purchased by the jar un-taxed and unregulated. The government sent out revenuers to stop illegal production of un-taxed moonshine.  

Moonshiners had to find a way to outwit and outrun the revenuers and the local law.  Most moonshiners knew how to hide their stills in barns and out of the way locations where they wouldn't be found, however they knew the most likely place of being caught was in the transportation of the 'Shine.  They knew that if their cars were faster and would handle better than that of the law man that was chasing them, they could evade his attempts to stop them and they would be able to deliver their product to waiting customers.  Moonshiners knew that their cars would have to look normal on the outside to not draw attention to them, but the modifications would have to be done to the engine and suspension to make the car unable to be caught.  Men who had once worked on bootleggers cars became mechanics and crew members as the sport of stock car racing evolved, due to their knowledge of how to harness more power and speed through these modifications .

Bootleggers, realizing they could out run the law, began to race against each other for bragging rights.  At first this took place on old country roads, until someone came up with the idea to create a track to race on in an old cow pasture.  Men like Junior Johnson who were known for bootlegging had a leg up on new drivers when the competition at these races moved to including those who were non-bootleggers.  Running from the law gave men like Johnson experience in driving and handling a car that others never had.


                                                                                                                                             Image: http://digitalheritage.org/ When Johnson was once asked about bootlegging he said: 

"It gave me so much advantage over other people that had to train and learn how to drive. "When I sat down in that seat the first race I ever ran, it was a backseat to what I'd already been through. I had did all them spinning deals sideways and stuff like that. It just made my job so much easier than anybody I had seen come along and go into it. Never, ever, did I see a guy who could take a car any deeper than I could and save it, as long as I raced."

NASCAR with its sorted past has remained a truly Southern sport.  Although it has expanded nation wide many of the southern ways have remained, much of that due to its early beginnings in the backwoods of Appalachia stretching from Virginia to Georgia, running Shine and avoiding the Law

Yes I'm a History Nerd... Your Point?

So i have to say I get kind of tired of the looks I get when people ask me what my degree is in and I reply History.  Oh really, they say... I hate History.  If I have had this conversation once I have had it a thousand times.  The truth is it's not the history that is boring, its the avenue used to present it that sometimes can be dry.  I was very blessed to have amazing teachers in middle and high school that were passionate about what they taught and knew how to present the information in a way that made it come alive.  Although i know some of my fellow classmates would not agree with me, and I will allow them their opinion, because please don't ever send me back to another math class.   I will fight kicking and screaming all the way there.

Okay i will admit it .... I was a nerd. :) You don't show up to school 45 minutes early every morning to practice with the History Quiz bowl team for nothing, well actually you do ... it really only got me a trip to Raleigh, a tour of the governors mansion, and a stuffed parrot out of the claw machine, Oh well and one more thing, being the only girl on the team, I got the "privilege" of rooming with our sponsor.  Lets just say she was one of those teachers who I appreciated much later in life, but lights out at 9 pm on an overnight Middle School trip was not the most fun.  :)

I continued to enjoy history in high school.   I learned that there were parts of History that interested me far greater than others, I needed a baseline of knowledge to be able to base my further learning on.  You cant understand the Civil War without knowledge of why the Revolutionary war was fought.   It  breaks my heart to hear people talk about the fact that the Civil War was fought over slavery, and in part that is right, but it was fought over so much more.  Slavery was only one of the states rights issues that caused the South to succeed.

But my Love affair with History really came when I was in college.  I had by far some of the best History professors while I was at Western, and the ability to specialize where I was able to dive so much deeper into the parts of History that I love.  I realized that I loved Social history especially in the South, and these were things that we barely were able to touch on prior to college because of the sheer volume of material that was given to the teachers to present.  Luckily there wasn't standardized testing in History so the teachers had a little more flexibility with what they taught, but having to cover the discovery of America in 1492 to if you were lucky the end of the World War II... usually spending one class period each on Korea, Vietnam, and post Vietnam America, really limited the amount of material that could be covered.

When people discover the connection of History to themselves they become much more engaged.  Show someone who loves baseball the connection between Southern Mill Villages and Baseball, and the reasons why mill village leagues were so important to the morale of the workers in the south's #1 industry in the early 1930s and 40s.  Show someone who loves science the evolution of the Gemini and Apollo Missions in the race to Space.  Show someone who loves music the impact it had on the youth and culture of the 1960s.  When History is made personal, local, and specific it becomes far more interesting.

I've been really encouraged by the Mountain Heritage Center's implementation of the Digital Heritage Moment that has been being broadcast on Clear Channel Radio in WNC, as an opportunity to expose chunks of local History to the general public.  This project has encouraged me to start a new blog series and daily take an event in History, and share it in a way that may, open others up to an interest in our past and in our heritage.

Ill post the first in the series tomorrow  so make sure to check back :) ....