There is nothing like being under the lights on a Friday night, and many of my memories growing up are tied to the gridiron, the man who put on red and blue every fall for more than 20 years, and the woman who stood faithfully behind him. But what I remember more than the nights under the lights were the lessons I learned from my dad the coach. Nearly 32 years after I went to my first football game and nearly 10 years since my dad's retirement from coaching, I still and always will be Coach's daughter. I cant tell you how many times that I have been asked aren't you Coach Searcy's daughter? Its by far one of my favorite titles, because i am so proud of the man my dad is and the legacy he left on that field, as well as in the hearts and lives of hundreds of athletes.
1. Its not just a game- High School football is not just a game. It's an opportunity to build character, to instill in men the qualities and skills they will need to succeed in life. Its about molding and shaping lives, making boys into men, and kicking attitudes to the curb. There were many nights after losses my dad would come home upset, but the times I saw him the most upset was not when his players didn't play well, but when they didn't represent the jersey they had on their backs, the brothers on their team, or the values that had been instilled in them. Weak work ethic, bad attitudes, and bad language were not going to be tolerated. Not only was it not tolerated on the field but it wasn't tolerated at home. You did not want Dad penalizing you for unsportsmanlike conduct.
2. Family is not just blood- I can not even begin to count the members of my family. I have more brothers than I could count in a lifetime. My family extends not only to the players my dad coached throughout the years, but some very special football moms who adopted me during the season. Football was a family affair. Dad was on the sidelines, Mom was in the press-box, and my little brother was running balls and water, but I never was in the stands alone. On more than a couple of occasions players were invited to dinner at my house, and trips were made to college games in support of these guys. I have brothers of all ages, races, sizes, and from so many different walks of life. They are family, because of the time that my dad, and even my mom poured into them during their 4 years in high school, and beyond.
3. The season doesn't start August 1 and end Mid November - I was very fortunate that my Dad saw family as a crucial part of his life, and he even gave up opportunities to further his career because his family was so important. I saw my dad answer people many times when they asked why he didn't take a head coach's position, that even though he had more time on the sidelines than some of the other coaches, his family needed his time as well and he knew the added commitment he would have to make. I watched my dad be content where he was coaching the O-Line, and enjoying every minute of it. This didn't mean that there weren't long nights locking up after games, driving the bus home, watching film, painting the field, mowing grass, summer workouts, and so much more, but we as a family knew the sacrifices he had made and knew that these things came with the job.
4. Commitment means win or lose- You have never been initiated in to the family of a coach until you go through a very bad losing season. In my experience this didn't happen until I was in middle school and we had 2 seasons back to back where we didn't win one single game. Most people jumped off the bandwagon, players quit mid -season, attendance at games dropped everyone found someone to blame, but if you are committed to your team, and committed to the coach you love, Commitment means standing tall and wearing your colors no matter what the scoreboard says at the end of the night, no matter what the stats say in the newspaper the next morning or what the season record says at the end of the year. You support and love your team no matter what win or lose.
5. Weather wont stop you- I can not even begin to count the number of games I sat in pouring rain, freezing cold, or blistering sun. You learn to adapt. You carry an umbrella just so it wont rain, you stop and buy rain gear on the way to a game, you learn to wear layers and carry extra blankets, because bad weather shouldn't sway your commitment. Let me tell you cold metal bleachers are never fun in November and they are beyond uncomfortable for your backside, but when you see the discouragement on the face of a player who turns around and start hyping up the crowd, only to realize everyone left at halftime because of the weather, it makes you realize that weather should not sway your commitment. Circumstances should not stop you from moving forward and supporting the people you love.
6. You will have terrifying moments- Luckily we only had a couple of bad injuries while I was growing up but one sticks out to me more than any other. It was the 4th quarter and one of our seniors tucked his head on a hit, if you know anything about football one of the number one rules of blocking is you don't go into a block leading with your helmet You always keep your head up, your eyes on your defender. (Side Lesson in life, when you don't "block" your problems with your head up you're gonna get knocked on your tail and probably get seriously injured). This guy knew better than to lower his head, it was a freak accident, but he went down, no one really thought much about it, it was the end of a drive and he came off the field. It wasn't until much later that night that we heard how serious the injury could be. Visiting this player in the hospital the next day, and hearing "the worst case scenario" was a terrifying moment. In the end the injury ended up not being as bad as originally indicated. I learned to take bad news with a grain of salt, as well as you have to learn how to handle those moments when you are scared and you cant let someone else see it .
7. Don't marry a coach in season... Okay maybe you should- Okay this is a good one ... Ladies- if you love jewelry, then go right ahead and marry a football coach during the fall, just make sure he's a keeper like my dad, because let me tell you the secret. Once every 5-7 years your anniversary will fall on a Friday night ;) Just ask my mom Sapphire Rings always made up for spending her anniversary in the stadium or press box, but if you ask me, she loved him so much it never really mattered.
8. You have to learn to have tough skin- Being a coaches daughter I heard all kinds of things, mostly how things were never being done the right way. My heart was broken a couple of times hearing the things that would be screamed at the coaches, and yet many of these people, really and truly had no idea what they were talking about. You have to learn to push off what people say about you and about the people you love. You have to focus on what you know to be true, and when a parent is screaming about not putting their son in on 4th and Goal with 5 seconds left in the game, when you're down by 3. You have to know their child may not be the best option, and trust the decisions that are being made. My dad taught me through these moments too that you have to trust the decisions you make reguardless of what other people think, and that there are very few of those people that if you explained your decision to it would change their mind.
9. Some people will never understand the rules of the game- I have very dear friends who were cheerleaders, and I am not picking on cheerleaders, but there was always a couple who never knew if we were defense or offense. It really made it obvious when the captain was not paying attention or didnt know how to tell who had possession.. I found that when you follow those who don't know the rules of the game you will get lost, and you will look like a fool for doing it. If they dont know the rules you may not be able to teach them. With these people, sometimes you just have to let them play it their way.
11. Family is crucial but sometimes Football comes first.- There were a lot of things I thought I missed out on as a kid, when everyone would go out to dinner after the game, we stood around and waited on Mom to call in stats, uniforms to be washed, equipment to be put away. Every year Coaching clinic became a family vacation, and I have to say my dad was pretty amazing to take us along because getting older and finding out that most coaches saw clinic as a way to "escape" life for a day or two, I realize how blessed we were that our dad wanted to spend that time with us as well.
Kids don't stop growing just because the field has to be lined off or equipment has to be put away.... Solution, take them with you and get them to help you pull chalk lines. As important as I knew football was to my dad and my family I never once felt like my dad didn't have time for me .
12. Suck it up ... Walk it off... Get over it... If you have ever been loved by a coach, you have heard these words more than once. If it isn't broke, dry your eyes, get up off your butt walk it off and ice it and elevate it, you'll be fine in the morning. Pain is gain. Even though I have scars and a hairline fracture that grew back crooked from this mentality, HA-HA, I have to admit I am a much stronger woman because of it. My dad never let us sit and feel sorry for ourselves, You get up, you brush off the dirt and you move on. In life if you let pain hold you back or if you nurse a minor injury you will never recover or get back in the game.
13. Know when to call an audible- In life you have got to know when to change gears after seeing all the possibilities on the field. Its never too late to change directions. If something is not working Don't keep doing it. You have to look to your spotter in the press-box because there are somethings that just cant be seen from the sidelines.
18. If "Coach" is hard on you, it means he sees potential- I have learned that when people are hard on you its because they see something in you that they don't see in others. They see potential. They want you to work a little harder because they know you have value, they know that you have untapped potential that if they sit back and let you go on your own that you would never become all that you could be. As I watched my dad coach his linemen, I watched him get up in the face-mask's of guys that I knew he believed in, from a distance it just looked like he was staying all over their behinds, and that they didnt seem to be able to do anything right, but these were the same guys that when they made that killer block on Friday night my dad was the first to grab them and tell them everything they did right. Discipline builds character and hard work will always pay off.
20. Support someone in what they love- My mom has a love of football, but like any woman I am sure there were other things that she could have found to occupy her time over every fall Friday night for 20 years, but I dont remember my mom ever missing a game, and as I got older I saw what she did to support my dad and his team. Mom would come home from teaching all day, and would put on her red and blue, she would put 3-4 dozen chocolate chip cookies in the oven, she would load up all the stuff she needed to keep stats, she would make sure my dad had everything he needed, and there were times when especially on away games, and days the weather was unplanned she would have even more things to load up. Her Friday nights didn't end until the newspaper and tv stations had everything they needed. My mom could have cheered from the stands, but she chose to be apart of my dad's passion, to support him and be with him every Friday night... That's Real Love.
21. The field is not the place to fight- You don't fight in public, you take it inside the field-house where no one can see and if you need to fight it out you fight it out there. Fighting is healthy most of the time in the right context, but it never needs to be done in front of other people. Fighting in public whether physically or verbally will show you a divided team. Issues can be resolved but if you fight in front of people they will see your weakness realize you are not united and take advantage of that weakness.
There are so many other life lessons, so many memories, so much pride that come to mind when i step foot inside of the Stadium, my life would not have been the same without so many Friday nights there, but my Dad is more than a football coach, ask any of his players. He was a man of God first and foremost, he never forced his faith on anyone but by his actions and his life his players knew where he stood. I am so proud of my Dad for taking every opportunity to impact the lives of young men who played for him just as much as he impacted mine and my brother's lives on and off the field.
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