40 Days of Prayer For Your Future Husband .... Day 2 (His Heart)

40 Days of Prayer For Your Future Husband .... Day 2

His Heart

Your Future Husbands heart is so important.  Everything he does, says, and thinks flows through his heart.  In the life of all Christians it is so important that we guard our hearts and stay focused on the Lord.  Praying for the Lord to guard the heart of your husband and his life.  We need to pray that he would make wise decisions and that his heart would be humble and open to the leading of the Lord. 

Dear Heavenly Father-  

Today I ask that you guard my loves heart.  I pray that you have brought him from darkness into light through the saving power of your son's blood on the cross at Calvary.  I pray that he is living daily to serve and glorify you.  I pray that he is being intentional to guard his heart from sin and being obedient to your commands.  I pray that he is mindful that every step of the journey you have placed him on is important and he is learning and growing in you daily and not taking oppertunities for granted. 

Lord I pray that you would guard him from temptation and negativity that can so easily invade our hearts.  I pray that you would keep him from the temptation of laziness and complacency.  Father I pray you would guard his heart from anything that is not of you.  I pray that you would guard his eyes from perversion and lust.  I pray that you would guard his relationships with others from dragging him into sin, places, and situations, that are not glorifying to you. I pray that before you bring him into my life that you would have allowed him to build a strong foundation for his own personal spiritual life built on Christ and that just as I now am praying that you would help me to guard the hearts of other men, Lord I pray that you would allow the women in his life to guard his heart as well. 

Father I pray that you would guard his heart and help him to make the decisions that would be in light of his salvation.  That he would be intentional in the things that he does with his time, that he would keep his heart from pursuing things that are not of you.   I pray even now but especially when you bring us together that we would guard and pray for each others heart, and cherish it as a treasure we have been entrusted with.  Let him love you faithfully and cry out to you in every circumstance. 

                                                                                                   In Jesus Name I pray, 

                                                                                                               Amen

 

40 days of prayer for your future husband ... Day 1 ( His Salvation)

40 Days of Prayer For Your Future Husband ... Day 1

 His Salvation

The Lord's design for marriage is for two believers to live a life together to glorify God, and to be a representation of the relationship between Christ and the church.  This can not happen if both, the man and the woman, are not saved.  We are able to love because Christ loved us first, and Christ should be our first love.  So praying that, your future husband, knows or will be drawn by the Holy Spirit, should be the greatest desire of your heart for him. 

Dear Heavenly Father,

Father I come before you, and you know, the desire of my heart to one day have a godly marriage and a partner in life, with whom I can glorify you with, as I walk along this journey.   Lord I believe that these desires within my heart for a godly husband and a godly marriage, were placed there by you, and I desire to honor you with them by giving those desires back to you.  Lord I believe that your timing is perfect, and that you as my creator and sustainer, know exactly what is best for me. Lord you know me better than I know myself, and I release the pen of my life to you, and will allow you to write a love story for me that will be beyond anything I could ever imagine. 

Father I pray for the man you will one day bring into my life.    I thank you for sending Christ to die for our sins.  I thank you that you have brought me to a place where i understand the price that was paid for my sins.  Father I thank you for the grace that was poured out on me when Christ took the sins of the world on his shoulders and died on the cross.   Father I thank you that you saw fit to create a plan of redemption, and that you loved me enough that you chose to make a way for me to be reconciled to you through the sacrifice Jesus made for me. 

Father I pray that if the man you have for me does not yet know you, that you would draw him to you, in a very clear way through the power of the Holy Spirit.  Father I pray that you would help him to see his need for a savior, and help him to know that the love, grace, and mercy Christ offers through his resurrection is available to him today.  Father I pray if he doesn't know you that you would send people into his life who would be real with him about the state of his heart, and would care about him enough to share the gospel with him.  Father I pray that you would help him to turn from himself and turn to you so that he can become the godly man you have called him to be.

Father I know that marriage does not work when two people don't both know you and put you first, and so I pray that you would have drawn my fututre husband,  to you in a way that was real and undeniable.   Lord I pray that he would have been saved and forgiven and would be living a life to glorify you.  Lord I thank you for his salvation, and that in him surrendering his life, that he will spend eternity with you.   I thank you for saving him so that we can one day love each other through the overflow of love that Christ has given us.  I thank you for saving him so that he can live for you and we can one day minister and work to glorify and enjoy you together. 

                                                                                           In Jesus Name I pray - 
                                                                                                      Amen

Quit searching ... Pray for him! (40 days of prayer for your future husband)

Ever prayed a prayer like this?

     Dear God, 
           If you could just please, just let me find the man of my dreams. Help him to cross my path.  Help me not to make a fool of myself or do or say something wrong.  Help me to be what he is looking for.  Lord I have a desire for marriage.  I have a desire for children.  I want to be a wife and a mother someday.  Lord help me to find the man who can walk beside me and be my husband, who will be my other half, and help me grow in my relationship with you. Lord bring a godly man into my life so that I can begin to live the life I know you have created for me.  Lord if you could do that please?
                                                                                                                 ~Amen

I don't think any of us want to admit it, but I think as women at some point in our lives we have all prayed this kind of prayer.  There is nothing at all wrong for praying for the Lord to bring a godly man into your life, but scripture says some very specific things about prayer, and if you truly believe the word of God it should change the way you think and pray about your future marriage. 

But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a

 wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind.

James 1:6

If you are praying for a godly husband and a godly marriage, you must believe and not doubt that the Lord has placed those desires on your heart.  If you truly believe this then you must also truly believe that there is ONE man out there that is your future husband.  When you begin to see this dating and relationships in this light it makes you realize that every other man out there that is not that ONE man is not your future husband and it should make you much more intentional about how you treat the men in your life.  If they are not your future husband they are more than likely another woman's future husband.   Just in the way that you would want women to respect your future marriage and the man you will one day share your life with, I truly believe we as women should respect and protect those who will share their lives with.

When we realize the Lord has someone specific out there for us, it should  change the way we pray for him. Instead of praying only that the Lord would bring him to us we should be praying for Him, his relationship with the Lord, and that he would be growing into the godly husband the Lord has placed the desire in your heart to want. 

When you shift your focus from God bringing him to you to God growing him into a godly man you shift your focus off of yourself and your needs to him and his character.   Most women who desire a godly marriage deep down want to be pursued, loved, cherished,  and lead by a Godly man.  We as Christian women have a unique opportunity to believe the lord and to love a man who is real in the eyes of God but may not have crossed our path yet.   What if you poured as much energy into praying for the godly character of your future husband as you do searching for a boyfriend?  What if you spent time studying what godly character to pray for not only for him but for yourself?  How much do you think the Lord would change your heart about what you desire prepare you to be the godly woman and wife this man needs. 

So many times we rush into the wrong relationships and are brokenhearted when the man does not meet the expectations we have in our minds.  It is because he is not the man God has inteneded for you.  Step back  pray for your future husband, for him, not for him to apear, and pray for God to make it clear to you when he comes into your lfie. I dont believe that this means you cant meet people and make friends, but I do believe it changes the way you will see the men that cross your path.  It will allow you to see them as brothers in Christ and not see every one of them as a potential husband.  I truly believe that as you pray God will shape your desires to be in line with his will, and it will be clear when he sends the right man into your life. 

I am preaching to the choir on with this blog post.   How many of you will join me for the next 30 days to pray specifically for your future husbands, (even if you have never met them)  for their walk with the Lord, for their character, for their heart for ministry, for their families, and for their purity and strength with struggles.   I am praying as i write this that as we take this journey together, that the Lord would not only work in the lives of the men we will one day share our lives and build families with, but that he would change our own hearts and allow us to become more Christlike and mold us into the wives of noble that he desires for us to be.  

Everyday for the next 40 days, I will be posting specific prayers to the blog to help you as you begin to pray for the man God has for you.  These are also wonderful prayers for any woman to pray, single, dating, engaged, or married, all men in our lives deserve to have these things prayed over them.

A wife of noble character, who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.  Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.  She brings him good not harm all the days of her life.... 

                                                                                        
                                                                                        Proverbs 31: 10-12

Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.  Give her the reward she has earned, and let her work bring her praise at the city gates. 

                                                                                          

                                                                                         Proverbs 31: 30-31

Tempting Triggers... you have a choice.

Anyone who has been through something traumatic knows that you have three choices in how to deal with the feelings that come as an aftermath from the experience.  No matter what kind of experience it was the ways to deal with the flood of emotion are still the same.  You can either bury and try to forget the feelings, you can turn to pity, or you can deal with the emotions and choose to move on.  Far too often we choose one of the two unhealthy ways of dealing with these emotions,  even if it is just to a small extent. It is only when you release the feelings you have about the experience from your past that you can fully move on and heal.

The other two ways of dealing with these emotions are not healthy.  People either choose to bury the feelings and not deal with them, essentially believing they have moved on, or they choose to hold onto those feelings and validate themselves as a victim. The problem with either one of these solutions is when things pop up that are related in any way to what you went through it triggers these emotions and they resurface.  This sends the person who burred their feelings into a frenzy of trying to cover these things back up that they had worked so hard to bury in the first place.  Sometimes its even the last straw, and someone who has seemed to be okay, breaks because they cant bury anymore.   The same triggers will send someone who has been holding onto the validation of a victim into a tailspin causing them to run back to the place where their insecurities beg others to pity and protect them.

We have a choice when triggers come into our lives.  These things are never easy to deal with when they are close to something we have been through .  Knowing that someone else is feeling the same pain, knowing that someone has brought up that old memory, or stabbed a knife in that old wound, but we have to make a choice.  We can choose to live an unhealthy life and bury the feelings or seek pity, coddleing, and "support" in the form of validation for our victimization, or we can choose to lay it down and do something productive with the feelings we are feeling.

When triggers pop up in your life, try to step back and see the big picture.  What can you do to make the situation better?  You will feel better if you can aid in the situation, if not you can always pray.  Pray for the current situation that is triggering your emotions, Pray that the Lord would strengthen you heart and keep you from going back to your old ways of handling your emotions, pray that you would see the situation in full light as to not make assumptions or see things in a jaded light because of the traumatic experience you had.   How can you glorify God in this current situation and allow it to take you 10 steps forward in your journey instead of 10 steps backward.

No matter what you went through ... you always have a choice not to ever go back there again.  Stay on guard.  Don't let Satan use similar situations to trigger you into losing precious ground you have worked so hard to gain.

You always have a choice. You may have to make that choice to lay it down and not allow the triggers to affect your life, but you ALWAYS have a choice.

My Story... My Heart

As I sit here and think about my own life, and all the ups and downs of the rollercoaster, I realize one thing.  I am not an expert in relationships, if anything I am an expert in how to do them the wrong way, but I know that with all the hurts and all the lessons I have learned, there is so much that the Lord can share through my life. I have learned that the greatest asset that he gives us to share what he teaches us is our story.  As the keys hit the paper of my story, there have been some of the highest highs and some of the lowest lows, and I have to admit that my greatest pitfalls and my greatest weaknesses have come in the hands of Boys.  There have been ups and downs but the Lord is still teaching and molding and shaping me, and I only hope that he can use my life  to help others along their journey.

Crushing but Confident:

Growing up I was always boy crazy.  As far back as I can remember my eyes were always on the newest cutest boy in class.  In elementary school and middle school I had to sweet innocent boyfriends and looking back, I am not sure how much I really liked either of them as more than a friend, the truth of the matter is I really just wanted someone to hold my hand and to dance with me at the sock hops.  I would come home every night and day dream for hours and doodle in my journals, play mash, and plan my future with the newest crush of the week.  Looking back I didn't have a type.  Most of the guys I crushed on were athletic and cute, but some were guys who just paid me attention.  If a boy smiled at me or did something friendly, like pick something up for me that I had dropped, he would steal my attention without second thought and become my new flavor of the week.



As I got to high school, I definitely developed a type.  My dad coached football and it was a very rare occasion that a guy I liked was not on the football team, but beyond that  even though I was crushing on every boy in sight, I was still extremely confident in what I believed.   I had every intention of waiting until marriage for sex and realized that I only wanted to be in a serious relationship, that I didn't want to give away pieces of my heart to just anyone.  I knew what my standards were in a potential relationship and I was not about to lower them for anyone.  Although I had some body and image issues, I was confident in my decision and knew the Lord would bless me for it.

College Confusion:

In college I was exposed to things I was never exposed to in high school (because my dad was a teacher at my high school,) One of those things was being exposed to guys expressing interest in me. I had been so sheltered in high school, that I didn't know how to react to a guy who liked me.  In fact one of the guys who liked me first semester of my freshman year came across a very aggressive to me, because I didn't know how to take his advances.  Luckily I was still confident in what I believed and was too busy pledging a sorority to give it much thought.

Second semester of my freshman year I became extremely involved with a Christian group on campus. The more time I spent with this group, the more time I noticed the godly guys who were juniors and seniors.  They were so attractive because I saw Christ in them.  They were intentional with the hearts of the girls around them and they wanted pure God glorifying relationships.  There was only one problem with this ... I was invisible to them. My first thought was that it was my looks that made them not notice me. (Looking back I realize this wasn't true, they just weren't Gods plan for me)

Fraternity Fog:

When I got tired of not being noticed by the Godly guys around me I made the biggest mistake of my life.  I chose to deliberately not wait on God and let a friend of mine set me up with a guy I knew was not anywhere close to reaching the standards I had set for myself as a godly young woman. Over the course of the next year I lost my virginity (not by my choice) , suffered abuse both emotional and sexual abuse.   I chose to hand over everything I had cherished for so long by not waiting for the Lord for his best for me and putting myself in a situation to be taken advantage of.  In the end of that year I had flunked a semester of classes, moved over 100 miles away and broken nearly every relationship in my life to hold on to something that hurt me to the core.

Not Really Rescued:

After that relationship I dated a couple of guys kind of casually, but it wasn't till the next summer that I started to deal with the pain and emotions and the after effects of the disaster that relationship had caused in my life. I went on a few dates and developed a strong emotional friendship with a guy that summer and came to terms with what happened to me.  In the moment I wanted to be loved and rescued, but I have learned that even small doses of  the right kind of attention from the wrong  person, just creates a false sense of security and a one sided connection that is not easily broken.  I couldn't see that this guy was not committed to me, that I was a rebound, and he just wanted to date casually.   I thought he rode in on a white horse to save me, and I bent over backwards to do everything in my power to keep someone in my life who didn't want to stay.  I changed everything I could to make him want me, but it didn't work and again I was left heartbroken and alone.

UnMerrilly Married:

After that situation and being told by my best friend at the time that he loved me ( when he all along had a girlfriend) I met a guy in church.  Thought he was wonderful and thought since we met in church it had to be God's will.  But from the first few months there were red flags both in my life and in his that I turned a blind eye to.  We were approached by both of our families about not pursuing marriage, but bullheaded and determined this was God's will we planned a wedding and said I do...

Things went from bad to worse. We had no foundation and could not communicate.  I had not healed from my pain, had no ability to deal with confrontation, or confront others who had hurt me or tried to interfere within our marriage, and I still wanted to be independent in a lot of ways.  I wasn't the only one who had problems but pointing fingers will do nothing to edify or build anyone up.  We will just sum it up by saying the problems we had were enough to allow another woman to step in emotionally and pull his attention away from our marriage.

Divorce Disaster:

I tried everything I could think of to try to save my marriage, well that's what I told people, and to the biggest extent it is true I  did everything in MY power to save my marriage, but I didn't give it to God the way I told people I did or like I should have.   After about 4 months of separation I yet again did not wait on God and decided the best way to heal from all the hurt from my past compounded by the hurt of being betrayed at least emotionally in my marriage was to find someone else.  At first it started out innocently enough by seeing other godly men and being attracted to the qualities within them, but yet again I wasn't noticed by these godly men, and I went back to the same cycle of believing it was something physical about me that they didn't like.   When in my head I had convinced myself as a soon to be divorced woman I wasn't good enough for a godly man I went back down the same road of not waiting for God and created an online dating profile.

Broken and Binging:

I am mortified to say that I can not even count how many men I talked to after I downloaded the app. It became a drug.  Seeing men tell me I was beautiful.  Finding validation in their words, all the while, knowing they were empty of any meaning.  Running from the Lord, and trying to find fulfillment in someone rather than in Jesus.   I went on dates with a few men, but found the theme was the same.  If they even took me out for dinner there was an expectation that favors would be returned.  Not being that kind of girl I struggled to explain what I wanted and there were times I regretfully gave in.  I went on dates with guys that I later found out had criminal pasts, were exes to people I knew, had no foundation with which to keep themselves afloat much less support someone else, but the majority were men who would say and do whatever it took to get momentary gratification physically. All but two of the guys who had ever expressed any kind of interest in me at all (married, in a relationship, or not popped back up into my life) and clamed to wanted to have me back in their lives. I had to deal with every one of those situations and put it all behind me.

Single Again but learning to be satisfied:

18 months after my separation my divorce is nearly finalized and I am just now realizing how much time I have wasted. I am realizing how much if I had only waited on the Lord for his best and his timing I could have avoided nearly 13 years of pain, and heartbreak but at any point I could have chosen to get off the pity train and to choose to wait on the Lord instead of being selfish.  I have decided to let go of my own life and to allow the Lord to give me what is best in his timing.  I am learning so much about the blessing of singleness and although I know the Lord has planted desires for a Godly marriage and children in my heart, I am learning to trust him with the time I have before he grants those things in my life and how to use it

My Heart:

If I have learned anything over the past couple of months I have learned that God uses broken people. He takes what we think is unusable and uses it for his glory.  Just look at Rahab, and David, Paul and Peter.  There are so many others who thought they could do nothing for the Lord, and in part they were right.  In their sin and their own selfish ambitions they couldn't, but when they gave up control and allowed the Lord to take the Pen the Lord used them in ways they could never even begin to imagine.  My prayer is that my pain and my mistakes were not in vain, but that the Lord allowed them so that I might be able to reflect the light of his grace back to someone who is struggling in the same way.  God never throws us away.  He sees the righteousness of Christ in us if we are saved and he wants to use us to display his glory if we will only let him.

So that is my desire.  To take one step at a time.  Seeking the Lord and his wisdom and to allow him to use me and my story as he sees fit.  

Getting Motivated ... When you Just Aren't

Motivation has a bad habit of sneaking away just when you need it most!… To be completely honest, I have severely struggled with motivation over the last few months since going to nights.  When you work 12 hour shifts and try to sleep at least 8 hours it only leaves a couple of hours to get anything done, and talk to anyone who has worked night shift, the likely hood of getting a full 8 hours of good sleep doesn’t always happen either.  So the big question becomes how do you get motivated when you just aren’t.
There are so many places in our lives that we can lose motivation in.  It may be motivation to clean your house, motivation to work out, motivation to complete work that you have been putting off.  Whatever it is, when you loose motivation you lose your ability to plan, you start to slack in the progress you are making, and you eventually slide so far down into a hole, that you feel like there is no way to begin making progress again.
The main thing to remember when you lose your motivation is to start small, don’t overwhelm your self.  Lack of motivation is essentially burn out, so if you try to jump back in all at once likelihood says that you WILL fail.  I find that when I lose motivation if I can make one step, the next one is easier.
So logistically what should we do when we lose motivation.  Here are a couple of steps you can take to help you get back on track.
1. Make a decision that you are going to get back on track
2. Choose one task that you need to complete to get back on track, break it down into small parts and work on it for 15 minutes.
3. Step back and realize what you have done, with most things you will see results.  (With something like weight loss you may not be able to see the results but how do you feel?)
4. Share your successes with a friend, and create a new goal.
5.  Keep moving as you see progress it will make you want to continue moving.

If you suffer with depression, or even are just struggiling with finding motivation with multiple areas in your life,  and are having trouble even getting to this point, start with something small.  Get out of bed, take a shower, get dressed all the way to your shoes, do your hair and makeup, and make a list.  These small steps will make you feel accomplished and make it easier to get things accomplished.  Take these small steps and repeat when you lose motivation and it will make getting back on track so much easier.

5 things I learned from a Loving Client

In thinking about how Heather impacted my life I realized there were so many things she taught me over the last few years.  God used her in mighty ways to encourage the hearts and lives of others and I was just one of the many who was touched by her love.  Heather taught so many people so many things… and even in the length of my last post I still don’t even feel like I began to scratch the surface into all the ways she blessed my life… I probably could write for weeks about all the things that she taught me and all the sweet stories that come to mind when I think of her, but there are 5 qualities that I think heather embodied, and things that she taught me.  Things I only hope that one day I can become more like the woman that she was and to also believe that I am a precious woman in Christ.  That was the way she encouraged me to see myself.

Heather taught me….

1. To Love…. a friend loves at all times… Proverbs 17:17
Heather was one of those friends who was always there no matter what.  You knew that no matter what time it was she was just a phone call, a text, or a short drive away.  She would listen to the same story over and over if that is what it took for you to be able to work through something.  She could sit for hours talking about problems in life and help talk through solutions.  Heather never wavered.  Her focus was on the Lord and she was quick to remind in times of trouble that He was the answer.  She found ways to let you know she was there.  She loved me when i was unlovable, and even during times of stress and depression when I was pushing everyone else away Heather was there.  She made you let her in to your life, but she did it in such a sweet and caring way.  She was that friend that if you went a few weeks without talking to each other you could pick right up where you left off, and she would want to know right off the bat, what was new in your life.  She loved people, and she genuinely cared about them before she cared about herself.  She was the type of friend to give sweet tough love though, when it was needed, but she constantly pushed me back to the Lord and to his promises.  Heather taught me, it is the most important thing in the world to take the Love Christ has given us, and to invest in other people, and their lives.  She taught me the importance to be there for people even when you have your own stress in life.  She taught me that life is short and you need to tell people how blessed you are to have them in your life and what their friendship means to you.  She taught me to be be sensitive to the people the Lord is laying on your heart. That one especially she showed me when she knew I had been going through some very hard times, there were some major things happening in my life that many people didn’t know about and i was retreating.  I didn’t want to be around people, I selfishly just wanted to sulk, and what did my sweet friend do, she showed up on my door step with candy and was persistent in loving me even when i didn’t want to be loved.  Heathers love was always unconditional… She loved people for who they were, where they were, and never expected anything more.


2. to pray for and encourage others – Therefore encourage one another and build each other up just as in fact you are doing. 1 Thes. 5:11
Heather knew the importance of encouraging others and praying for them. There would be times when I was dealing with stress or something difficult that I would get a random text with the sweetest prayer written in it.  Heather knew the importance of praying specifically and sharing with others how she was praying for them.  Heather didn’t just tell people that she was praying for them she really prayed.  Her heart broke for people around her and the things they were facing.  She knew that allowing the Lord to handle these things was the most important thing.  She knew when i was discouraged and pulling away from the Lord, just a small reminder of scripture or an encouraging quote would lift my spirits.  She would invite me to come to revival and other things at church with her.  One night, Heather, Mary, and I went to revival together and God got a hold of my heart about some bitterness I was  harboring towards people and a situation that was weighing heavily on my heart that I wasn’t turning over to the Lord. Tears were streaming down my face and i bent over in my seat and buried my head in my hands and was praying, first i felt her finger tips gently scratching my back so I knew she was there and I knew she was praying, the next thing i knew she was bent over right beside me, wrapped her arm around me and I knew she was praying for me even though she had no idea exactly what I was praying for.


3. to be humble. all of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble. 1st Peter 5:5
Lets just all be honest here, anyone that knew Heather even just a teensy tiny bit, knows that she would totally have my head if she knew I had spent most of the evening writing these two blog posts, crying, making a fuss over her, and making other people cry because of her. That’s just how she was, she was one of the most humble people I have ever met in my entire life.  She didn’t think that things she did were ever special.  Like I said yesterday that she didn’t even see that she had an eye for photography even though others saw it.  She carried herself with such grace, she was humble and considered others better than herself.  She had her share of problems like everyone, when she shared things with me, I saw the honesty of her heart and the humility of her spirit.  She shared because she wanted prayer and someone to help carry her burden. She knew that scripture says to cast your cares on the Lord because he cares for you and also to help carry each others burdens.  Heathers quiet spirit, meekness, and gentleness, all flowed out of her humility.  She realized she was who she was and everything she had was because of the redemption the Lord had offered her when he saved her.


4. to be joyful For what is our hope, our joy, or the crown in which we will glory in the presence of our Lord Jesus when he comes? – 1 Thes. 2:19
Heather knew to be joyful was to be obedient to the Lord.  It was obvious in her smile, in the way she carried herself. in the way she helped others through things they were facing.  She constantly reminded me that my joy wasn’t found in the circumstances I was facing.  That my joy should be found in the Lord and in my salvation.  That joy is different than happiness.  You knew Heather had real joy , joy that could only be found in someone who placed their hope in the Lord, because even when she faced trying times she still found joy, she still found things to be thankful for and grateful for.  She found ways to share her infectious joy with others. Whether it was jamming out in the car, having a meaningful conversation, or just the selfie smiles she shared on Facebook, Heather was always sharing her joy with others.  She also would make sure that people knew that you can only have REAL joy when you are fully assured of your salvation in the Lord Jesus Christ.


5. to trust God even when things don’t make sense- Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding,in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Prov. 3:5-6
Over and Over over the past few years Heather reminded me that the Lords ways are higher than mine…. there are more stories than I could ever tell of things she and I discussed about how i just didn’t understand and she would say JUST wait….trust Him … he has a plan.   There were so many things, even things that involved her leaving us, that God set in place more than a year in advance.  The place I was working, and the relationships with people she introduced me to who impacted my life beyond anything i could ever imagine.  Even things in my life not working out the way I always planned.  Things that made absolutely no sense, but she was right, some of these plans God has laid out before me as things worked out for our good and his glory, and I look back and see his hand the whole time.  She would encourage me in the things I didn’t understand to pray about them, to be honest, there were a lot of times it was a lot easier to just be sad, or frustrated, but she was right I needed to turn it over to the Lord and trust Him that  he has a plan.

As hard as loosing one of my dearest friends, in such a tragic way has been, its been really hard over the last few months to see the Lords plan in these things, but I know after hearing the stories people have told about Heather that her life was lived with purpose.  Her life here touched more lives than anyone could ever begin to count. She shared the love of God with others both in what she said but also in the way she lived her life.  The Lord truly used her life for his glory, and ultimately, as hard as it has been to loose her, I knew he even used her death for his glory.

I have realized over the past few months that we only have one life here on this earth and we need to live for the Lord and do everything we can to live with purpose.  These things that Heather taught me were mostly, just quietly lived out in her life because she loved Jesus, and it was just who she was.  Heather is completely at peace and is in the most joyful state she could ever enjoy.  She is living eternally at rest.  I know that if there are things she would want people to know, if she could tell them, is that if nothing else surrender your life to the Lord and live for him and then to love people because life is short. Tell people how you feel about them, because you may not have another chance, and live your life in a way that encourages others and points them toward faith and hope in the Lord.

Sweet girl – I miss you everyday.  There is not a day that goes by i don’t wish i could tell you something … but I am so grateful for all you taught me.  For the friends and “family” that you left in my life. And all the joy smiles and laughter that you brought into my heart.

Tale of a horrible glamour session ... that changed my life forever

I’m just going to say this from the start, I am not even going to try to get through this blog post without tears, and I’m going to warn you now about the length and that this is going to be a multi part post.

This week I have been reminded over and over and over again how blessed I am to have such amazing women in my life.  Women that love, encourage and support me in all that I do, and who point me to Christ daily.  As I have begun to passionately pursue glamour and boudoir photography again this week, one particular client has been on my heart and mind every step.  This week has been hard because my dear sweet friend who helped me begin this journey is not physically here anymore, but the impact she made on my heart, my spiritual life, and my business over the last three years has forever changed who I am.

I set out on a journey 3 years ago to begin shooting women.  It was purely a business move at that point.  The market was saturated with family and children’s photographers and I wanted to be different.  I had absolutely no idea what the Lord had in store for me.  I posted a status on Facebook and asked for models, having absolutely no idea what i was doing other than a few things i had learned at a Glamour workshop. My Hair and makeup skills were next to NONE.  My Backdrops were crappy and falling apart, and my photography could still use a lot of work, but I thought this is the way to go and I’m going to start a new trend and make lots of money… What i didn’t realize was the Lord was going to bless me, not with a booming glamour business, but with one amazing client.  God had a plan that I had no clue of the extent of, and how he was going to use me to bless the lives of so many through this one woman.
I got a response back on my post where a friend of mine had tagged this girl and said that she might be interested. A few hours later i got a message, the name Heather Cole sounded familiar but i had no idea who she was, but I could tell from her picture she sent me that she would be perfect for what I was looking for.

I knew that she had just gotten engaged and I could tell by her smile that she had an amazing personality, and so when i messaged her back i threw in a quick line about have you had your engagement pictures done?  To be quite honest I was thinking about building clients and thinking about booking sessions and weddings, but Oh did God have so much more in store for me.
Heather showed up at my home studio the day of her session and i was an insecure wreck.  I had promised to do hair and makeup and create beautiful pictures of this girl, and she looked better with no makeup and in a white tank top than I did after a while of putting myself together.  I had looked through most of her pictures on facebook the night before and had talked myself into a frenzy that I would never be able to make her happy with what i would be able to do.  As she sat down in my studio for hair and makeup we began to talk.  Conversation flowed easily and naturally and standing behind her she couldn’t see that i was a nervous wreck curling her hair
 I kept walking around the front looking saying that just doesn’t look right, but she just kept talking… Next came makeup, the same thing happened i must have done her makeup for an hour and a half… I kept fixing and fixing and it’s a wonder she didn’t come out looking like a clown,  I kept praying God, please help me make this sweet girl not look less beautiful than she already is.    So in the almost 2 and a half hours it took me to do hair and makeup Heather and I had had an opportunity to have a conversation about nearly every topic in the book.  Its a good thing she was a talker… because if not I would have been in trouble, because i was so worried about her session.  I finally handed her the mirror and with a few stray straight pieces of hair dangling and more makeup than she had probably ever worn in her life she looked at me sweetly and said I LOVE IT …

That was just Heathers way… She never wanted to make anyone feel bad.  She always wanted to encourage those around her, and she never wanted anyone to frown.  We shot images inside and outside over the next hour and as she left i felt so insecure about the images I had gotten, My lighting had been off, my camera settings were messed up, I wasn’t seeing details in posing that I as a photographer should have fixed, and I was just sure that she was going to hate them.  After a few days of editing I finally sent the images to her and sat back and waited… first I gave her the wrong link… then I gave her the wrong password.  And I am thinking at this point this girl probably does not trust a word I say anymore when it comes to photography because i cant get anything right.

A few days later, I realized I could not keep up with all the shoots and weddings on my own and i needed a second shooter, and Heather was the first person to respond. We scheduled a meeting for a few days later over ice cream and after talking for a few hours I realized this lady was so much more than a pretty face.  She was an amazing woman and not only was she the Perfect client but she would make a phenomenal assistant and second shooter. At this point I was still thinking business, but I knew we would be fast friends too.
That summer Heather shot 4 weddings with me, and there is nothing better to build a friendship than shooting a wedding together.  She had an amazing eye for photography but she didn’t see her talent.  She loved capturing moments and emotion and her infectious spirit kept me going on those long wedding days.  The very first wedding we shot together I had been sick and very stressed.  I hadn’t eaten that morning, and had pushed myself way too hard in the hot sun, and all but passed out. Heather stepped right in, no insecurities, no questions, no complaints.  She handled that wedding party like a pro, but what amazed me that night was the texts she kept sending me to make sure i was okay until she knew i was home.
The next few months an amazing friendship was built.  She became one of my dearest friends.  She was an encourager, an amazing listener, and a shoulder to cry on.   She was the most thoughtful person I have ever met.  She taught me so much about myself, about dependence on the Lord, and about just living life with Joy.   I felt blessed to be apart of her life.  To meet the people she loved, and to learn so much from her every time we talked.
There was a theme though… Every time we talked she talked about this guy.  This guy who stole her heart and wouldn’t give it back  This guy who loved and protected her.  This guy who could look at her and her heart would melt.   This guy who encouraged her dreams, and cherished her heart.  Her eyes lit up every time she said his name, and I knew that was what true love was.  I thought if only I could capture that love, and God gave me the chance to do just that.  I walked with Heather through the wedding process, from going to scout out the venue, to watching her cry over cookies at her surprise bridal shower ( That’s a story for  another time  )…

That day, I met some other amazing people who would be apart of my life for years to come.   Over the next few weeks our friendship grew even stronger, and it was time to do bridal portraits… and love Heather to death, and she was one of the most organized people I ever met in my life, but sometimes…  Lets just say in the stress of getting everything together for her bridal portraits and having her hair and makeup done that she forgot to bring her wedding dress  …. So once we finally got to the farm, WITH THE DRESS  Heather proceeds to tell me she is going to put her wedding dress on in her car.  I am trying so hard not to laugh because this is not a small dress… but somehow she and Haley managed to get the dress on and Heather came out looking perfect, not one hair out of place  … That day was my dream bridal session, everything was just PERFECT… The colors in the sky, the farm ( which was a last minute change in plans), her sweet sister being apart of her session with her, and a stunning bride who was so in love and happier than anyone I had ever met.

  Heather usually trusted my judgement, not sure why, after that first session we had but there were a couple of moments she looked at me like i was insane during her session.  One was when there were ducks walking down the road … I think she thought they were going to get her, but she just turned and sweetly smiled, I told her i said you’ll want to remember the ducks one day.

Heather radiated beauty and Love …. that day …. well always… and she would be so upset to know that I was even calling all this attention to her  … that’s just who she was.   I knew her wedding day would be a day to never be forgotten.  And I felt so absolutely blessed to be apart of it.     A few days before the wedding we finally got around to doing engagement portraits.  I had met Justin a few times, but that day watching them interact, it was so glaringly obvious how much love they had for each other.  It was so much more than just high school sweet hearts.  They truly were best friends.  Most couples need coaching in engagement sessions, its not that they don’t love each other they just don’t know how to express it  in front of the camera.  That was not a problem with these two.  Their love was real, it was genuine, it was sweet, and they just naturally fell into the perfect posing.  That day i didn’t have to work as a photographer.  I got to capture LOVE!!!

Heather and Justin’s wedding day finally arrived  IT POURED!!!! I have never seen it rain so much on a brides wedding day in the entire time I had been shooting.  I knew Heather well enough to know she was stressed, from having to move the ceremony inside to worrying about how to get from point A to point  B in the rain, but she didn’t let it show.  It didn’t matter if it was raining… Her family and friends were there and she was marrying the Love of her life in front of them and God, and that was all that mattered.

IF this was the only impact Heather McCarson ever made on my life it was life changing …. but it wasn’t … read part 2 …. 5  life lessons i learned from a loving client ( to be posted tomorrow)