A letter from Me to the Beautiful You .

I feel like this is a very vulnerable place for me to be writing, but my heart has ached for the women I have grown to love and the way that they see themselves.  I have to admit that I should be preaching to the choir on this one, I don’t love myself, and the idea of self love seems so selfish in relationship to my views of my relationship with the Lord, but I know that I was perfectly created and that He loves me just the way that I am, so why am I so hard on myself.  I know that there are very few women around me that deep down really love everything about who they are.  It is such a foreign concept to us.  We foam at the mouth about all the things we hate about ourselves, but yet we cant find one thing we love.

I shot a boudoir session for a wife and a mother of 2 kids a couple of weeks ago and as the tears streamed down her face, as I showed her her images, I realized that’s what boudoir and glamor photography are all about.  Its not about having beautiful images for your husband, although I’m sure he wont mind  but its about building confidence in yourself, and seeing yourself in a light that you have never seen yourself before, we hide our bodies under clothing that doesn’t fit or is too big, we shy away from makeup or wear too much to cover up, we forget to take care of yourself or just don’t take the time to do it, because we believe that we don’t deserve it.  We look at ourselves in mirrors that distort and lie, and we compare ourselves to the models in the world who don’t really look the way they are portrayed.
I realized there were many things we all face when we begin to love ourselves again.  I decided to write a letter to “the woman” i know many of my clients are, as well as to myself, and i think it will resonate with any wife and mom who feels this same way.  I hope it blesses you in the way her story and emotion blessed me. I also hope it will help you to truly find what you love about yourself.
 

Hello Sweet Friend-

I just want you to know I write this from a place of knowing exactly where you are.  I know its easier to see the beauty in others than to see the beauty in yourself.  I know being a wife and a mom is challenging, tiring, and even emotionally draining, but I just wanted you to know you are loved.  I know you don’t take a lot of time for yourself and it seems like the only time you have alone is when you take 5 minutes to take a shower.  I know you feel like you are the first one to wake up and the last one to go to bed, and half the time you skimp on drying your hair or putting on makeup to make sure your husband has lunch to take to work and to make sure that the kids socks match. I know you love your children, but you hate what they did to your body.    I know you cover up your body with clothes that are two sizes too big or shimmy and shake into spanx to make sure everything stays just so in place, and that you would rather deal with the pain they cause as they dig into your waist and legs than to love yourself for who you are.  I know you struggle with dieting, and never seem to get the weight off or seem to be satisfied with the goal you set for yourself when and if you reach it,  I know you see those goals as unachievable and often give into emotional eating and give up your healthy changes all together.  I know you love the Lord and that you trust that he said you were perfectly made, but i know that your heart does not always believe that.  I know you love your husband with all your heart, but yet your marriage might be struggiling, or his eyes might be straying, and you are left thinking and feeling even less about yourself.  Deep emotional scars from something in your past no matter how big or how small may have put you in  a rut, and you feel like you just can’t break free.  You feel like you put on your smile when you get dressed and hide your feelings from the world as you deal with the day to day tasks of life, but you wonder if you really matter and if your life really has meaning.  Your husband tells you, that you are beautiful and that he loves you just the way you are, but you dont beleive him.  You live on caffenee, and go on little sleep, because there is just so much to do.  You value beauty of other women. You see the beauty of others in  a photograph or in your friends and loved ones but you cant see it in yourself.   You would love to give your husband something to catch his eye, but the lights are out before you go to bed because you dont want him to see you the way YOU see yourself now.  You worry that other women are more beautiful and younger and more attractive, and you question why he stays.

I want you to know i understand! I have dealt with many of these fears and hurts myself.  I know what it feels like to hate my body and i know what it feels like to never want to be in front of the camera, dont they say the camera adds ten pounds?  I want you to know that I am here friend, I love you so much. And I am here for you while you cry. I am here for you when you are angry, or sad or frustrated. I am here for you when you are happy, in love, joyful and open hearted. I am here for you always. You are wonderful.

I want you to find yourself again, ok? I want you to find yourself in your identity of who you are as a person, and then add in  the roles you fill. (wife,mother,….)   I want you to stop letting yourself be treated poorly or without the utmost of respect, care and admiration, because you deep down dont believe that you deserve more. You deserve to always be treated like a queen. You are loved and respected. I will stand behind you as a friend, and show you the things i see in you, that you should see in yourself..  You are perfect just the way you are. Your Family and freinds love you . You are a perfect creation, a chosen child of the one true God and are  so beautifully made in his image.

 I can see your beauty, strength, courage, strength of heart, talent, light, grace, loveliness, sassiness, sexiness, tenderness and love.  Can you see it? Forgive yourself for for all the horrible things you have said to yourself, all of the things you told yourself that you needed to change, all of the weight you’ve told you to lose, all of the times you’ve told you to be better and more “perfect”. Forgive yourself for all of the times you  have compared you to others. Forgive yourself for all of the times you said “I  can’t do that” or “I’m not worth it” or “someone else could do that so much better than me”. Forgive yourself for being so hard on yourself and who you are. You are beautiful both inside and out and you are amazing. Stop holding yourself back. Stop telling you that you are unworthy and not good enough for a relationship or a job or your dreams or love in any form. You are more than enough, friend, because He is enough.

Stop telling yourself that you cant be used because of your past, He will redeem you and he will call you his own.  He will hear from Heaven and he will heal your lands, ( Your life, his plan, and he will bless you).  He will love you in a way no one else ever will be able to and he will allow you to love yourself and to love Him so that you can love others more fully.

 You deserve the stars and the moon. Give that to yourself. and treat yourself like the radiant, cherished queen that you are – at all times.  Allow the Lord to show you who you really are in Him and who he created you to be, allow him to show you what beauty there is in your scars and stretch marks, because even those are apart of his plan, and apart of your story.  Allow him to show you what he created you to be and how he sees you.

He loves you.

Your Husband loves you.

Your Family and Friends love you

I love you.
Love yourself.  Find your confidence in the Lord.  Be the woman He created you to be and see yourself that way.

I am here, and i am walking this path right beside you.